Her Eyes
by cathopes
Summary: On the night Harry Potter arrives at Hogwarts, Snape remembers another person with those same emerald green eyes. Oneshot, not the most uplifting fic out there...


**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, and I am not making a profit off of this.**

**Author's Note: Just a short oneshot, nothing too special. The idea just wouldn't leave me alone, so we get this fic! Not the most original plot, but oh well. Feedback is very welcome. Thanks for reading.**

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**Her Eyes**

_Those emerald eyes..._

Professor Severus Snape sat in his dimly lit office, after the start of term feast. A bottle of firewhiskey was clasped loosely in his left hand. In the other, though, was a picture of two teenagers. One was a young man with shoulder-length greasy black hair. He was pale and had a long, hooked nose. In amazing contrast to this bat-like appearance, was a pretty young woman with long, dark red hair and emerald green eyes.

They were both smiling up at him, the girl occasionally hugging the boy, who usually had an arm wrapped around her shoulders. The joy of the two youth was almost too much for the potions master, his black eyes glittered with unshed tears. Why did he pick tonight to go to pieces? He had known that this day was coming for months, years, even.

But of course, that had still not prepared him for seeing the boy... Snape would have recognized him anywhere. He looked eerily like Potter, that was not the problem though. As the professor had discreetly watched him, the boy had turned. Snape had had the shock of his life then. The child's eyes had been _green _the same deep green of his mother's. Even though he had been told this before, it still had made his heart jump. The professor gritted his teeth at the thought, but try as he might to deny it, even the whisky would not help there. Any child of James Potter was not worthy of those eyes.

Not even the infamous Boy Who Lived.

Lily _Evans_ had been his best friend. His only true friend. She always knew what to say to someone, no matter what the circumstances. She had this light about her, Snape believed she could smile her way out of anything. Was it really any wonder that he had fallen in love with her? She was perfect in every way, as far as he was concerned. Lily had always stood up for him. Well, at least until...

_I'm so sorry, Lily..._

That day in their fifth year of school, everything changed. And it was all his bloody damned fault. Snape remembered being hung upside-down by Potter and his little gang, Lily was only trying to help him, but seeing all of the Slytherins there, watching them... He had snapped at her, and called her a mudblood.

The absolute longing to fit in was what he had later blamed it on. To be accepted by his House, to deserve to be a Slytherin. Well, I certainly accomplished that, he thought bitterly. But he lost the one thing that had made his life worth living, and he would never get another chance to make things right. Not to say he didn't try, but it was too little too late. That was when a new path opened up for the fifteen-year-old.

The second biggest mistake of his life was hanging around Lucius Malfoy. This new path was promising, at first. To join this Dark Lord Voldemort would mean many advantages. One of which was being able to get back at those muggles like his father, who had abused Snape and his mother after finding out about the magic. Besides, Lily had left him, had hurt him by her refusal to forgive, what was there left to lose?

_Why did it have to be him?_

Famous last words, Snape thought sadistically, taking another drought of the firewhiskey. It was half empty now. The potions master had paid, and had lost more than he had ever dreamed of. He had lost _her_. When she had start going out with Potter, in their seventh year, his heart had shattered. Potter was good-looking, a Quidditch player, and he had money. Basically, Snape's polar opposite. The Gryffindor knew this, and was always arrogant about it. He was King of the World, and went out of his way to make sure Severus Snape's life was a living hell.

And what was worse, was that Potter believed he had saved his life. Snape's lip curled into an unpleasant sneer at the memory of the prank that had almost killed him. Potter had backed out of it, obviously, or else Lupin would have mauled him. Black would actually have him dead... They had never liked each other, but to be capable of murder a sixteen was a rather unpleasant thought. Black was getting what he deserved though, the dementors of Azkaban would be a lovely punishment.

After Lily married Potter, Snape had felt his heart turn to ice. It was over, she would never love him. She was only a dream now. When the Potter's were placed on the Dark Lord's hit list, he had been sorely tempted not to do anything about it. To let Potter die would be a wish granted, but he could not, and would not, let _her_ die.

So he told Dumbledore. He had already tried to beg the Dark Lord to spare her, but it was not to be. So he had turned to the opposite side, _Lily's_ side to protect her. He had gotten his wish, but Black, the Potter's Secret Keeper, had betrayed them all. And then the only woman he had ever loved, the only woman who had ever care anything at all for him, was gone. Gone along with James Potter, and killed with a curse the same colour as her eyes.

And now, ten years later, the potions master had a promise to fulfil.

He may not have been able to save Lily Evans, but he would die before he failed to protect her son. Even if the child was an arrogant, self-absorbed, pig-headed Potter brat. Which, Snape though, he must be, even with Lily's genes. It was sad, her son was likely to tarnish her memory. He could never be worthy of, that was for certain.

The professor stared down at the photograph again, in the flickering candlelight. The teenagers still smiled up at him, and the picture of Lily even kissed his picture-self on the cheek. Taking another swig of the firewhiskey, he downed the bottle, then, finally, he passed out. The bottle shattered on the floor loudly, but it went unheard. That night, Severus Snape dreamed of sweet, innocent laughter, red hair, and emerald green eyes.

He wouldn't remember much of his drunken musings until several years later, when he stared into those eyes again, before closing his own black eyes one final time. When his last thought would be-

_He's just like his mother..._


End file.
